the Judge takes over

It was pitch black and my husband was barking loudly into the night while we took our dog for a walk. I started walking ten paces ahead to avoid him, my thoughts screaming in my ear, my lips tightening, and my mind racing.  Shirzad Chamine's voice* rang in my ear, reminding me that you will know when your Judge (your inner critic) has taken over by your own emotional escalation.  

Chamine explains that discernment is an observation that leads to a non-emotional decision.  You will know you are in judgement when your skin crawls, you lash out, or you find yourself in another emotional mess.  When you find that your Judge is running the show, use the words, “my Judge is telling me…” to remind yourself that the story causing you emotional upset is just that:  a story that the Judge is telling you.

With Chamine’s rationale in my head, I thought, “my Judge is telling me that you are being inconsiderate and obnoxious.”  Huh, it did feel good to put it in those terms instead of saying to myself (or to him) that he was being inconsiderate and obnoxious.  I took a moment to breathe deeply and rub my fingers together to bring myself into the physical sensations of the present moment (Chamine calls these PQ reps).  Once I did, I found myself less angry and more present.

Coincidentally, we realized that we had lost the blue light on our dog’s collar and went into search mode as a team, recovering from our earlier disagreements.  Maybe next time he is barking into the night, I can just laugh along.

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* Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamine explains the Judge further and how to use physical sensations to shift out of negativity.